Many believe that relationships with fewer couple problems are those of long duration, perhaps for a lifetime. But why?
Is it correct to judge the value of a relationship by the duration of the reports? “Here, they’ve been living together for fifty years!” It does not matter the years that have lived together but the result, the quality, the consequence of their life, and not the fact that those fifty years have remained together! Has the quantity transformed into a new quality? The author has proposed this question to several listeners and in individual interviews: “What is the dearest and most valuable being for you?”. The most frequent answer was “the children”, “the children!”. It was rare to hear “my husband”, “my beloved”. And he hardly ever received the answer: “The person I love most is me”. People are afraid of talking about love for themselves. Here are the advice of Anatolij Nekrasov taken from his bookThe deception of maternal love .
To truly love oneself means to penetrate deeply and acutely into the substance of which one is made.
It is the union with one’s soul. This is why there are not many people who truly love themselves. It is very difficult, almost impossible, to feel true love for oneself and for another person, when you forget about freedom. Children, born and raised in love and freedom, will be harmonious people and their relationships with life will also be harmonious. Only when a proper system of values is established between the parents and the children, is then created a marvelous consonance and a good relationship between all the generations of the same family. And there are these families!
Well, at the beginning of everything, in the center of your value system, put YOURSELF!
If you will not be full of love towards yourselves, if every single cell will not resonate with your love, how will you be able to express it? If you do not know how to love yourself, who will love you? Comply yes, they will pity you. But love no! Because authentic love is built on respect. By loving and respecting yourselves, you will project this state to the outside and you will begin to form that hierarchy of values that will allow us to achieve authentic realization in life.
The first circle of love includes oneself, but the next includes the couple (HE + HER).
Only a center “I + HIM / HER” well formed and filled with love will allow you to achieve what you want. The love of the couple is the maximum value of the Universe! It is the foundation of life. And we must not divide and identify the most important of the two members that make up the couple: each of them is of PARI VALUE. Only when the couple goes out of love and in harmony and constitutes a whole, can she impose her creative imprint on life.
When husband and wife are united in love, a space is born in which the children feel very well . However, if parents do not love themselves and even among themselves there is no love they begin to create problems of the couple whose children are affected too. If one of the two pretends to be the head of the family does not respect his half, then eccentricity is produced, which leads to the sunset of the relationship and the malaise of the children. If the couple is at the center of everything, it becomes a strong source of love, the stronger, the stronger the love for oneself of each other.
The second circle is the “domestic focoloare”.
If a couple devotes sufficient attention, care and love to this aspect, it will have a good foundation for building one’s own happiness. Often the emphasis is not placed on the creation of the couple, but on the formation of the home, in the illusion that this is enough to form the family. Often the couple proposes the purpose of forming a family and all thoughts and feelings are concentrated on this; but at the beginning we must build the relationship between man and woman, form the couple.
Otherwise the family, as a material space, can be so, but it will not be possible to build relationships of love, and the obvious consequences will be problems of the couple. The couple, constituting a family, can generate a child. The word “can” is emphasized because the main purpose of the family is not the birth of children, but the discovery of self in the close union between a man and a woman, in conditions of common life.
Now we have reached the third circle of love, the one towards the children.
Yes, the children were put in third place! For many this is an unexpected position, but the question of children is one in which most of the couple problems arise. Unfortunately, there are many women who put children in the highest position and even in the first place. Here’s where the trouble begins!
If children grow up in a family where love is distributed in the right way , there are the best conditions for their education and for the formation of their future happiness. In this way, parents transmit happiness and love to their children and they